If you know anything about my taste in cinema, you know that Robert Englund is royalty in my book. Wes Craven’s New Nightmare holds the top spot as my absolute favorite movie of all time, and I still have vivid, incredibly fond memories of sitting in a packed theater back in the day to watch Freddy vs. Jason. So when I saw Englund himself post about Pinocchio Unstrung on Facebook, I hesitated for zero seconds. Any chance to see a brand-new Robert Englund movie on the big screen in theaters is an immediate, non-negotiable ticket purchase for me.
Going into it, I expected campy fun, but I didn’t expect just how thoroughly entertained I’d be.
First off, having Robert Englund lend his iconic, instantly recognizable voice to the Talking Cricket was an absolute blast. He brings that trademark charisma and sinister charm to the role, making every spoken line feel like a treat for long-time horror fans.
That said, the real show-stealer here was Richard Brake as Geppetto.
Brake is a staple of modern horror, but we almost always see him cast as the unhinged villain or gritty antagonist. Here—especially in the film’s opening act—he delivers a genuinely wonderful dramatic performance. He plays Geppetto with a tender, deeply emotional weight as a grieving grandfather trying to protect his grandson from loneliness. It was grounded, moving, and frankly caught me off guard in the best way possible. It made me realize how much I’d love to see Brake take on more dramatic, non-horror roles in the future; the man has an incredible range that deserves to be explored far beyond standard genre tropes.
Make no mistake, though: Pinocchio Unstrung is an unapologetically over-the-top ride with a very healthy dose of horror ridiculousness. From homicidal animatronic puppet mayhem to bonkers kills involving growing noses and basement experiments, it’s the exact kind of film that requires you to check your logic at the door and fully surrender to its delightfully unreal nature.
What makes it work, though, is that it weaves those emotional themes into its brisk 80-minute runtime without ever dragging. It delivers the gore, the laughs, and the weirdly sincere character beats, all while never overstaying its welcome.
If you appreciate fun, unrestrained creature features and killer-puppet slasher romps, I highly recommend checking this one out at least once. It’s an absolute blast with an audience, and I know for a fact I’ll be revisiting it down the line.
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